day 13

AM juice was mango, carrot Apple. Feeling queazy and depressed and a little out of sorts. Been trying to get back on track since Sat. Tomorrow AM I do my dry run. Nervous, about to do yoga hope this will calm the nerves and settle my mind and tummy. Hope today will be a good day. Saw Paul and Holly Mon. Kinda messed me up all day Tues. Have to go to bed early tonight to get up tomorrow early.

night 11

All I want to do is eat, that's all I can think about!! But I want to lose weight too, and I can't do both, I've got to get myself under control. This is a long journey with so much weight to lose. I feel like I've lost some hope, I need it back. To morrow I go to the gym, I need to do some form of exercise every day. I've got to do this, I can't stand being this fat cow anymore!! Give me strength!!

day 11

Well I'm doing fine, had beets and greens and tomatoes twice today. Now I'm drinking watermelon and pineapple. Four juices so four juices today. Feeling good, tummy a little out of sorts due to the break I took. Need some more produce.

back on track

Took a break from my fast. Now I'm back on again. Drinking my hot lemon water. Nan was off and I caved, but I'm back on track again. This isn't easy, and Fri I felt like I was going to blow up. I made it 9 whole days, so let's see how far I can go now.

shock to the system

Kick starting things!!!!!! Details later.

9th day

Lemon water, watermelon juice, then beet, carrot, cucumber juice. Feel tired and sluggish. Extremely tired last night could not watch movie with Nan last night, went to bed with Jessie. Hope I get some energy soon this sucks. Dreamt about food again last night, chocolate chip cookies and doritoes.

berry juice

204.5 after Anthonys class!! Took a hot bath and now I'm drinking blueberries, strawberry Apple juice. Going to put Mim to bed. Ahhhh peace and quiet. Tomorrow Nan is off. Running out of my nasty junk, he said no more and I have no money so guess I'm gonna have to go through the detox. Ugh. Not looking forward to that, but it needs to be done. Don't want to walk around with half a face or no jaw.

One thing I've noticed these last few days is the smell of food on people is overly strong and offensive. Like when I made Nan French onion soup and he drank red wine with it. Ugh it reaked all the way till the next day, the whole upstairs smelled awful from his breath!! I smelled it on Mim on the way to the store today, and someone at the gym. I can't stand it!! It makes me want to get sick!!

chocolate cravings

Uh oh, woke up from nap craving chocolate, now I'm hungry too. Time to juice, can you say spinach, kale, tomato and carrots and cucumber. Gotta go before I cave. More later.

2nd juice day 8

Well I'm not getting as hungry as often. It's almost 3 and I'm drinking my 2nd juice. Beet, tomato, carrots and lemon, its quite delicious. Went on a walk with Mim and Jess, stroller tires were totally flat and that made the walk so frustrating!! No one had a pump, it started to rain and Jessie was being bull headed. Lost the keys on the way and had to retrace my steps to find them. Rough morning!! Luck turned and I found the keys. Need to walk Jessie more because she is digging in the yard and Nan is threatening to get rid of her, umm I don't think so!!! Then Mim and I went to the store and came home to find Jessie with green stuffing hanging off her lips!! She chewed up a pullup, a pillow and Mims toy stethescope, WTF!!! GOTTA GET THIS UNDER CONTROL!!

breakfast day 8

Bought lemons, so had hot lemon water. When I weighed myself first thing it was 207.5 AGAIN! That was disappointing, but then I went to the bathroom for the third time since I began this journey, I was 205.5. Much better. Yesterday I was very tired the second half of the day. I didn't drink enough juices yesterday probably. This mornings breakfast was mango, kiwi and carrots, kind of on the thick side. More like a smoothie. Nans back at work and I go to my extreme boxing class this evening. In a few days I should be under 200 lbs for the first time in almost 4 yrs!! The longest I have ever been fat in my whole life. Finally I am doing something about this disgusting body!!

night day 6

207.5 after my extreme boxing class!! 12 lbs in 6 days, this kicks ass!!! I'm feeling amazing!! Drank carrot Apple juice before class, small glass and added maca to it. The class was tough and I made it!! Came home and drank red leaf lettuce, spinach, cucumber and lime after s HOT bath!! I feel so good!! Nan is off tomorrow, hopefully it will be a little easier now. Have so much more energy than I've had in a very long time!! I'm loving this.

naps over

Well I woke up dying to eat, something anything I wanna eat it!!! Chips, Miriam waffles, grapes, wanna chew up something and swallow it!!!! I froze like my whole nap, hello its the middle of July, why is it so blessed cold!!! I juiced 1/2 cantelope, I really like that, and I need something I really like to get me through this urgent need to eat!! It's helping, thank god!! I've got to keep going. This journeys no where near over!!

day 6

Hot lime water first. Then we got dressed and ready for the zoo with Andrea and kids. I juiced mango, pineapple and carrot, really good and filling, drank it on the go. Hung out at the zoo for a couple hours, came home and fed Miriam. When I got hungry, about 1:30, I juiced carrot, Apple, celery, ginger, and cucumber. After I drink that I'm going to nap in my bed. I have Anthonys extreme boxing tonight. It's cold, I can't wait to snuggle in my bed, just have to wait for Mim to fall asleep. Sleep tight Mimzy.

green juice

Broccoli, Costco salad mix, and cucumber. I tasted mostly broccoli. Put Mim to bed, watching Intervention. I feel so great, so clean, so clear, so happy and free. However I am still chained to my major addiction. One day at a time, I just know I haven't felt this good in a very long time, fruits and vegetables are a miracle. I'm just gonna keep trucking along, the hard days will be the days when Nan is off work.

evening of day 5

Wow. I feel amazing!! I took a nice nap in my bed, I love my bed and bedroom now. When I woke up I juiced something but can't remember what. Then we went off to the gym and I did shred which is a tough class! Then I did legs (weights). Driving home I felt so good!! So full of energy, so clear and happy! Came home and cleaned the dog poop out of the yard and cleaned my juiced after making carrot, celery, romain, apple, ginger and cucumber juice. Weighed myself before drinking it, 210!! Almost 10 lbs in 5 days and I feel great!! More encouraged than I was this morning. Thank you god!!!

lunch day 5

Granny smith and spinach, pretty good. At least it has warmed up and the sun came out. Putting Mim down for a nap soon, gonna rest my body to get ready for classes at the gym tonight.

day 5 breakfast

Cucumber juice, it tastes better when mixed with other stuff. It is good by itself but not my fav. Feeling like I may have to go to the bathroom, haven't done that much since this journey started.

day 5 has begun

Day 5 give me strength!! Hot lime water. The scale made me grumpy this morning!! Only lost 1/2 a pound yesterday!! I guess the water weight is gone, and now it might slow down. Oh well at least I'm still losing and it could speed back up. I'm sure it will. Today I go to the gym, should have gone yesterday. My energy level is much higher than before I started this journey, thank god cause I was feeling like a slug before. I'm freezing this morning. But I was able to wake up at 8 with no problem, that's definitely a first!! More at breakfast.

herbal tea?!

Me and tea, just don't usually mix. Tonight I am having a second cup of chamomile tea, probably the only 2 I've ever had in my life!! I guess that's a good enough excuse if I spelled it wrong which I'm sure I did. I like. Thanks dad. Sweet dreams I hoot to have as I drink my 2nd cup of herbal sleepy tea.

tart snack

Pineapple, strawberries and blueberries good but tart.

As I sit and watch TV, I am amazed at how many food commercials there are, no wonder we are all a bunch of lard asses!! No vegan food commercials, in fact just now my smart phone didn't even recognize vegan as a word, it changed it to began. There are no raw foods or whole foods commercials. Just processed crap in our faces all day long. I should just read a book!!

big scream!!!!!!!!

That last post I wrote way before I published it. I was feeling great, but then the struggle with Miriam began. No nap today so she was being difficult, trying to annoy me just for kicks, just like her dad. I started chewing my nails and feeling like I just wanted to eat. Like I wanted to eat out of frustration, or anxiety. I needed to be free of all the noise, chaos and annoyance. I put her to bed at 7, at least an hour earlier than normal. I just needed peace, serenity, quiet, alone time. The hunger is gone. I will need to go to sleep early tonight because I put her to bed so early, she won't stay in bed till 10. Sorry Nan but I need to take care of myself. That is what this is all about.

GREENS

Spinach, spinach and more spinach, with celery and tomato. I was getting hungry, bread was looking good, body must be telling me its time for a juice. Unfortunately I have not managed to give up my mega addiction yet so I am not Detoxing my body off everything. I have cut back but I really need to give it up. I am afraid of the depression, anxiety and bad temper it bring out when I quit. I am working on finding the strength to cut these chains!!

I have noticed I am getting cold a lot since this journey began. And last night I dreamt about food all night, I failed in the night mare, but it was just a dream. I am still going strong. I am also feeling less hungry and new fulfilled by the juice.

day 4 first post

It's been a busy day!! When I started I weighed 219.5 I think I left the .5 lol, but that was my actual weight. This morning I jumped on the scale, 212.5!! Seven pounds in 3 days!! Man I was so happy, it is working, all this hard work and willpower is working!! I am shrinking. That made things seem so much better, gave me so much courage and motivation to continue this journey. It made watching my mom and her friend eat my moms famous chicken and fruit salad not so bad. Not like the torture I thought it would. I even prepared some for Mimzy and I survived!!

I had cantelope juice for breakfast after I drank a hot lime water. For lunch I had carrot, cucumber and tomato. When we got home I prepare a mango, carrot cantelope concoction, delicious and I feel great. Can't wait to jump on the scale tomorrow morning!! My mom said she noticed a difference already!!!

end of day 3

I made it through another day, yay I DID IT!! I had a solid BM today, haven't gone since the first morning. Last juice I had was a little thick because the fiber catcher was full and I didn't realize it. Put broccoli in that one, it was good, with cucumbers and carrots. Ready for bed and to battle through another day tomorrow. Each day I feel better about myself because I struggled but didn't give in like I would normally do. I am proud of myself. This feels good, I deserve to feel good and look good.

juice 2 day 3

Carrots, cucumbers, and a tomato brought it to the garage sales with me. Fernando grilled steaks, pork loin, hot dogs and asparagus. Smelled so good, I wanted some bad, juiced 1/2 cantelope instead. That was delicious but the steak is calling my name. Not gonna do it!!! I'm doing so well and I'm not going to let him mess this up for me!! This is for me and I'm not letting him screw it up!! I made him put the food where I don't have to look at it. I have so much weight to lose!! I can't let anything stop me from changing my life. Oh and he regrets drinking last night, he felt bad all day lmao.

day 3

Weighed myself before I did anything but pee. I weighed 215, 4 lbs in 48 hours!!!! This morning I feel so good, clear headed, energetic, focused and full of life, and I am so proud of myself. Last night was very hard watching Nan eat all that food and then him deciding to drink. Thank God we don't drink the same thing cause I may not have made it. He did buy me the one thing I just couldn't seem to go without, that helped, but I wish that I could get the strength to leave that alone I will work on that hard. I am seeing results and that pushes me. I drank cantelope, 2 oranges, and a hand full of blueberries, nummy. Off to check out some garage sales. More later.

end of day 2

He caved, just like I thought he would, I made it though with a couple extra juices. They helped a lot, I threw in a granny smith this time, carrots and celery. The carrot juices are very filling and sweet, they make a big difference when I am craving real food especially sweets like the cookies Nan bought Mim. But I made it, I really made it!! Day 2 down. Thank you!!

tough time

Costco was so hard!!! I am hungry!! I want to eat so bad, I want to drink, almost out of my junk, how will I survive without it!! The thought depresses me!!! It terrifies me. Why is it so hard to change my life?? I just want to be happy healthy and clean, but doing the work is not easy at all!! Fernando got my fav dish from Vien Dong, got in the car and put it in my lap, nice. It smelled so good. I put all the groceries away while he ate. I juiced cantelope delicious, made another glass and added blueberries. I feel better now.

3:05

Came back from the park starving!! Juiced a bunch of spinach, 1 tomato, some celery, red leaf lettuce and a carrot and added some lime juice. Spinach, not my fav. But not hungry anymore. Peeing A LOT!!! feeling a little tired and wanting some snacks. Going to get more produce, berries, more fruits, veggies of course, more greens. Help me get through this!!!

juice 2 day 2

Mmmmmm 2 carrots, 1 tomato, 1 cucumber, 1/4 in ginger, down the hatch, delicioso. Feeling good but still bound by my addiction. That will be a major struggle, let the battle begin!! In a cleaning mood again, the house needs it as always.

day 2 breakfast

Slept great last night, was hungry when I went to bed, but woke up fine. No hunger pangs. Watched Nan eat 2 cans of soup and some fish stuff, that was probably what made me feel hungry. This morning for breakfast mango and carrot juice. Still feeding one addiction, cutting way back but that is not enough. Mango juice is very thick, smoothy texture, delicious. Nan is off today that may make it even harder!! He loves to go out to eat or cook something, the day revolves around where we are going to eat or what he's going to cook. I don't know any restaurants with a juice bar, and I don't think I can watch him eat while I sit there drinking juice or water or tea for that matter.

end of day 1

I made it through the day!! Last juice of the day, green leaf lettuce 6 leaves, 3 leaves red leaf, cucumber, 2 stalks celery. Tasty!! Made it through Anthonys class, tough, sweated a lot, nose ran a lot, a lot of mucous. Feel really good, just took a nice Hot bath. In this journey I hope to lose weight, clean and reboot my body. Clear my mind, clean out the toxins inside me, be free from my addictions. Build my self confidence and learn some discipline and so much more. It's going to be a tough journey but worth every second!! WILLPOWER, maybe I will grasp that concept.

1st night

About to take my boxing class. Feeling sweaty, hot and kind of icky. Detoxing??? Going to the bathroom again. I drank a spinach, carrot grape drink before we left. A lot of dirt on the spinach, a big chunk of mud fell out when got it apart. Juice tasted kind of dirty.

after nap

Ahhhh sleep. Feel good, juiced 2 carrots, 1 tomato roma, 1/4 in ginger ,2 leaves romaine and Mimzy added a small spinach leaf.drank that and ate a couple left over nut clusters. Had to get rid of them. A lot of resting today to the gym in an hour. I hope I can do it. Love carrots in my juice. Weaning myself off the bad stuff!! That is going to be the hardest part!! I can do this. I have to!!! Fernando is talking about making pasta with red wine cream mushroom sauce. He isn't trying to make this easier for me. Just what I expected.

hunger pangs

Feeling hungry. Want to eat, this is gonna be very tough!! To say the least. I just juiced 2 carrots 2 sticks celery and one tomato. It's delicious! I am feeling shaky right now. Putting Mim down for a nap and me too. Working out at7:15 Anthonys extreme boxing class. It's gonna be hard not to eat after that.

lunch time

Cleaned out. Juices my Costco organic half and half salad and a big fat cucumber. Delicious, really it actually is very refreshing. Made toast for Mim, looks good, nice and warm and buttery mmmm, none for me. Cleaning this juicer a lot. Bottoms up, juice is gone.

day 1

First day. Juices 2 Fuji apples. Tired and apprehensive. Weight is 219 oh good lord I am huge. I need to get life under control. New beginnings. Goal 10 days, just drinking fresh fruit and vegetable juice. Off to make Miriam some waffles. This is going to be a tremendous challenge. I have to do this for myself, for my kids, for my marriage for my life!!

day 1