my "temporary" leave of absence

shit  i JUST WROTE A HUGE AMOUNT  and in the midst of it cousin Kerri called and bam I hit a button and it flew out the window.  That in my opinion is why paper journals are my preference but then my total fear of someone finding this and reading it and using my words against me, as has been done several times paralizes my when I try to write. 

The reasons for my leave of absence from work are many but truth be told life became more than I can handle while working a full time job.  Something had to go and it sure was not going to be my sanity.  I cannot afford to have my life crumble to pieces around me while I sit by too overwhelme to function.  Too many people depend on me.  Too much is at stake.  I could feel it coming, history repeating itself.  Because it happened before I could feel things starting to unravel.  Then the doctor prescribed two more medications.  Already I am taking 60mgs,the highest dose of prozac.  300 mgs of lamictal, 50mgs adderall and an allergy pill for my asthma and my ibhaler.  She adds clonopin AND a hormone, that is 10 pills a day.  I just wasnt willing to go there without trying to simplify my life first.
Medical marijuana was brought up

Things to remember

stooped backs evil within what i have accomplished how things are different things I felt thoughts ive had and thwe diff
realizationthe changes with in my littlebig voice minnie mouse.  the selfish martyr gnight

New Medicine

Living with PMDD has been a pain in the ass.  Every friggin month the outrageous monster comes out.  Irrational and plain psycho amongst a million of other word I could use to describe this maddening curse.

Ask my family, when "blue sweater" comes, life in our house becomes a treaturous land mine they are forced to blindly navigate.  There is no way to predict the kind of  atmoshere they will be faced with,  unless you pay close attention the the calendar and the lunar phases.  What kid do you know that does that?  Hell I have a tough time keeping track of it until I am already in the midst of its dark cloak.  By then it is swallowing my happiness, my sanity.  Every month without fail it settles in to our home for its normal 2-3 week  everything upside down and ever changing  the rules are ever changing as well as the atmospheric mood around me.